Okay, this is titled oddly, I know. This has a lot to do with what I am going to be talking about in this blog post.
I have always become embarrassed easily and when you add teenage angst and emotion to that it gets even worse. This is a post mainly about the embarrassment that I receive when someone asks me if they can read what I have written in the past, or even recently for that matter. My past writing is a huge source of embarrassment for me if I have not edited it, and I have not edited most of it. My current writing is also embarrassing because all I write about is Doctor-freaking-Who.
My writing is an extension of myself and whenever I write something it is like adding another appendage to my person. If it is something well written, it is another extension or a well-formed appendage. If I write something that is simply terrible and god-awful, then it is a poor extension of myself and like a little gimpy appendage. That is how I see my writing and when someone asks to see my writing it is like they are asking to see one of my extra appendages.
Why would you ask to see any of my extra appendages?
I am okay with sharing what I write, although I might be embarrassed, I really am. When people continually ask for me to share my writing it puts me off, and I do not know how to respond. I have promised a lot of people that they can read something that I have written or I will send them what I am currently writing, but then I freak out and I keep it all to myself because I think it is not good enough and that the person I am sending these things to might hate it. This is literally how I live. I live in the constant fear that my writing is not good enough and if I send it to someone they will make fun of me.
I know that most people are critical of other people's writing, or at least I am. When I review other people's writing I almost immediately start editing it in my head. I am not good at grammar, or at least I am not perfect at it. I will try and convince you that I am, but I am not. That is another reason why I do not share my own work here that often unless it is highly edited and I have read it to several other people first to make sure that someone, anyone will like it. That is simply how I am. I do not take literary criticism well and when my composition teacher told me that I needed to cut down on detail so I had more time for revision (we write in-class papers and all) I almost went home and cried afterwards because I felt like my whole world was crashing down around me. He did not completely criticize the way I write, but I thought that was what he was doing.
All in all, my writing is an extension of myself. An appendage you might say. This is why I am hesitant to share my novels with anyone. They are like poorly formed appendages that are not useful to anyone except me yet, in some odd way that has not been discovered. That is why I do not share my stories although I may be excited to, and I may promise to. You will all see my work someday, just not right now because I am not ready to show you my work. It is something that will take much patience from me and from you, my young paduans.
I promise that someday I will share more of my writing with you, but for now all you will be able to do is hear about how my writing is going and my rants on it. There might be short stories and poems scattered here and there, but I will not be sharing my novels for quite a while. I hope you all can understand.
Love me anyway, please?
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
Funny stuff
I recently started the second half of my composition class. I took the first half of this class last trimester. This time around it is with a different teacher, although he is one that I have had once before. I do not have good memories from the first time around but it looks like this will turn out to be a good experience after all.
I do not write much here anymore because I have been extremely busy with musicals, book reading, and all around business. I have also been focusing on my school work which does include writing an essay every week since I started taking these composition classes. I believe that I have become a better writer through these classes because they are both insightful and incredibly helpful. The class has taught me things that I will need to know for college level courses, because these technically are college level courses except they are taken at my high school.
The teacher that I have this time around is a teacher that I have had once before, back when I was a sophomore in high school. I have bad memories from the class I was in then but this class is turning out to be really great and I am learning a lot. The first day that I walked into this class we were given three books. Two grammar books and one book on how to write persuasive essays. Exciting, I know. After we picked up our books that were stacked on nice high piles on the floor we were given topics for our term paper. Part of me started panicking here because it was the first day in and this guy is already assigning us a term paper. What gives?! It was not all that horrifying and awful though. The class has to write a biographical paper on an author that they were given. The author whom I was given to write about was John Fowles. He is the author of The Magus, The Collector, and The French Lieutenant's Woman. He was a British author who died back in 2005. I am incredibly excited to learn about John Fowles and write a 5-7 page paper on him.
When the teacher was telling us the guidelines for the paper, he was telling us what kind of sources we needed to find. This is what is funny about this post I suppose. He told us what kind of sources we were allowed to use and what sources we were absolutely, under no circumstances allowed to use lest we be crucified on the small crosses that are in the drama club room - where we hold all of the crap that does not fit in the prop room- or be stabbed in the heart with a pencil; although he never actually said those things, I can imagine that is what he was thinking. He told us that we were not allowed to use encyclopedias but we were allowed to use books we found in the library. The kind of source which we are absolutely not allowed to use are blogs. I had to keep from laughing about this because I run this blog and a few other blogs that are out there somewhere on the world wide web. This made me laugh mostly because he said that blog writers were unreliable and for all we know they could be living in their mother's basement doing acid or something.
I have a sick sense of humor, but that was really funny. I would not think I would be prone to dropping acid in my mother's basement, but apparently I am since I write a blog! I always pictured myself as the coffee shop attendee who writes things for her blog in her spare time while she is drinking coffee at a coffee shop.
That is all I have to say for now, you may have some new things from me on Saturday.
I do not write much here anymore because I have been extremely busy with musicals, book reading, and all around business. I have also been focusing on my school work which does include writing an essay every week since I started taking these composition classes. I believe that I have become a better writer through these classes because they are both insightful and incredibly helpful. The class has taught me things that I will need to know for college level courses, because these technically are college level courses except they are taken at my high school.
The teacher that I have this time around is a teacher that I have had once before, back when I was a sophomore in high school. I have bad memories from the class I was in then but this class is turning out to be really great and I am learning a lot. The first day that I walked into this class we were given three books. Two grammar books and one book on how to write persuasive essays. Exciting, I know. After we picked up our books that were stacked on nice high piles on the floor we were given topics for our term paper. Part of me started panicking here because it was the first day in and this guy is already assigning us a term paper. What gives?! It was not all that horrifying and awful though. The class has to write a biographical paper on an author that they were given. The author whom I was given to write about was John Fowles. He is the author of The Magus, The Collector, and The French Lieutenant's Woman. He was a British author who died back in 2005. I am incredibly excited to learn about John Fowles and write a 5-7 page paper on him.
When the teacher was telling us the guidelines for the paper, he was telling us what kind of sources we needed to find. This is what is funny about this post I suppose. He told us what kind of sources we were allowed to use and what sources we were absolutely, under no circumstances allowed to use lest we be crucified on the small crosses that are in the drama club room - where we hold all of the crap that does not fit in the prop room- or be stabbed in the heart with a pencil; although he never actually said those things, I can imagine that is what he was thinking. He told us that we were not allowed to use encyclopedias but we were allowed to use books we found in the library. The kind of source which we are absolutely not allowed to use are blogs. I had to keep from laughing about this because I run this blog and a few other blogs that are out there somewhere on the world wide web. This made me laugh mostly because he said that blog writers were unreliable and for all we know they could be living in their mother's basement doing acid or something.
I have a sick sense of humor, but that was really funny. I would not think I would be prone to dropping acid in my mother's basement, but apparently I am since I write a blog! I always pictured myself as the coffee shop attendee who writes things for her blog in her spare time while she is drinking coffee at a coffee shop.
That is all I have to say for now, you may have some new things from me on Saturday.
Friday, March 15, 2013
It has been a little while...
I think that the first thing I should offer is an apology to you all. It has been an incredible amount of time since I last visited this page. Many things have happened in that expanse of time, both good and bad; but that cannot be helped because life is full of good and bad things. You just have to choose what you will let hurt you. It is all about your mentality.
I cannot pin down exactly what has happened since I have last posted here. There have been many things that have happened, some too private to tell, and some that are so minuscule that I did not really care to remember or write down. My search for the greatest literature has continued though and that is worth noting, although I do not remember all of the books I have read since the beginning of the year.
There has been a lot of book shopping and quite a lot of book contemplating. The books that I have bought recently were Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper. For the last month or so I have been reading The Once and Future King by T.H. White and before that I was reading The Fault in our Stars by John Green. I added another book to my reading list and that is The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. It is for philosophy club which has turned into a sort of book club to discuss moral issues within books. I am all for it, because this book is great. I can now discuss this book with my grandmother as well as my peers who are in this club with me.
Though I really like this new book, I really want to finish TOaFK. I want to know what happens, although I already know what happens I suppose. Whenever I read a book I go into it acting like I have no idea what is going to happen, even if I do have an idea of what is going on.
I thought that this was going to be a very long post... but it does not look like it will be and I do not have the attention span to type any more onto this post. So... good bye for now.
I cannot pin down exactly what has happened since I have last posted here. There have been many things that have happened, some too private to tell, and some that are so minuscule that I did not really care to remember or write down. My search for the greatest literature has continued though and that is worth noting, although I do not remember all of the books I have read since the beginning of the year.
There has been a lot of book shopping and quite a lot of book contemplating. The books that I have bought recently were Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper. For the last month or so I have been reading The Once and Future King by T.H. White and before that I was reading The Fault in our Stars by John Green. I added another book to my reading list and that is The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. It is for philosophy club which has turned into a sort of book club to discuss moral issues within books. I am all for it, because this book is great. I can now discuss this book with my grandmother as well as my peers who are in this club with me.
Though I really like this new book, I really want to finish TOaFK. I want to know what happens, although I already know what happens I suppose. Whenever I read a book I go into it acting like I have no idea what is going to happen, even if I do have an idea of what is going on.
I thought that this was going to be a very long post... but it does not look like it will be and I do not have the attention span to type any more onto this post. So... good bye for now.
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